Title: When The Time Comes Author: Angel Email: JumperChick@aol.com Rating: NC-17 Classification: MSR Spoilers: None, but I wrote thinking 6th season type of time I guess. Disclaimer: The following characters belong to Fox network, 1013 ect. No money made, no infringement intended. Archive: Please! Just drop me a note so I know where Feedback: Elephant droppings or white wine can be sent to Jumperchick@aol.com Visit my homepage!. http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Bath/7266/AngelsFanfic .html On with the story!!! ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ Present day Thursday 11:24 pm Mulder presses his weight against my back. Pushing my body firmly into the ground. His heavy ragged breathing is in my ear. Both of our bodies shiver from exertion. I can feel the sweat evaporating in the cool night air. My throat aches for water, my limbs quiver from the sudden stillness after such strenuous movement. Sudden gunfire caused us both to jump. Mulder curls his body around mine protectively. God forgive me. May the other escapees be a distraction enough to save my life. May they be killed instead of me. God forgive me. The gunfire stops and everything is silent. All I hear Mulder's breathing and my heartbeat. Both are so loud and fast I wonder if the guards can hear. A loud harsh voice is muffled by Mulder's body over mine. He shifts slowly and interlocks our fingers. I clutch for dear life. Because that is what Mulder has brought to me; life. I forgot what it was until he handed it back to me in form of dark clothing and my gun. Please God don't let them have found us. Though they would only see Mulder. He has completely sheltered my body from vision in the small ditch we lay. I know his thoughts. `No one will see Scully beneath me. They will shot me once in the back of the head and move on.' They shoot and ask questions later. Please God don't make me hide beneath Mulder's body to live. I may just stay under until I die of thirst. The voice is gone. The gunfire is gone. Everything is silent. We lay for a very long time. I lost track of days and hours a long time ago. I don't know how to tell them anymore. Mulder shifts over me. "Stay here." He whispers to me. He moves off and goes to look out of the ditch. I suddenly feel naked, vulnerable, alone, hopeless, without his weight against mine. It may be twice as much as me, but it is surely welcome. He reaches down and grabs my hand again. Wordlessly he pulls me back up to the dirt road and we start a slow jog with him leading the way. It is pitch black out. The cold damp air makes me shiver and struggle for a good deep breath. My muscles are sore from the long run from the camp. My stomach aches from lack of food. My mouth is dry in need of water. My body is weak from the tests. But we can't stop. I know that. Mulder knows that. He is tired, I can tell. But he doesn't stop. I doubt he even thinks about the fact he is tired. He just pulls me along on a route he has planned to take us home. Home. That's the only place I want to be. I want to be away from this. Away from the pain and the loneness. Mulder will take me there. We run for a long time. We've left the road ages ago. Mulder pauses every so often to look at a compass. I still hold my gun in my hand. Its no longer a weapon. It is part of my limb. In training we were told that is how we should look at our guns, an extension of yourselves. I didn't understand until now. Ever since the moment Mulder handed it to me I have held it. I never fired it once, but God help me I will. We make our way through a thick forest until Mulder stops and pulls out his phone. He dials quickly. "Almost there." That's all he says before he takes my hand again and pulls me in the right direction. The sun is just coming up. We must have been running for at least seven hours. We move for at least forty-five more minutes before I see the Lone Gunmen's van. I almost cry from relief. But Mulder doesn't give me a chance. He quickly helps me into the back of the van. It is moving before he even closes the back doors. I feel light headed from the heated air in the van, even though I am still freezing. Mulder sits next to me and drapes a blanket over my shoulders. "Is she ok?" Langly asks from the front of the van. "She'll be ok." Mulder says taking my face in his hands and looking at me. I nod and he smoothes my hair from my face. I can't even imagine what I look like. I don't even remember the last time I bathed properly. "Drink this." Mulder commands softly as he hands me a bottle of water. I gasp a noise of relief and drink the whole thing quickly. He takes the empty bottle from my hand and sits next to me pulling me against his chest. I don't know if it is for warmth or comfort, but I have never felt such a wonderful thing as this man's breathing beating body against mine. His arms wrap uncertainly around my waist. I turn and nuzzle my face against his chest. One of his hands works its way up to my head pulling me firmly against him. The other arm is secure around my waist. The gentle rocking of the van and the heat of Mulder's body quickly sends me into the first restful sleep I've had in ages. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ Thursday 7:33 pm The guard throws me back into my room. I'm so cold and hungry. And tired. I don't know what they are putting in me, but its killing me. They inject something every few days. Then, like today, they take out blood to test. They take out too much blood. Every time I lay on that table I scream for them to understand. To realize they are killing us. Killing all their test subjects. But they don't care. They just test who is brought to them until we die. Part of me just wants to die. I lay down for sometime and barely move. I'm too weak to move. I don't care enough to move. I hear my door unlock and I bury my face in the mattress. "No. Not again. Please." I whisper faintly. I can't take anymore of this. I can't. The nameless figure that is here to take me for more `tests' kneels beside my bed. I know it is useless to fight against him. They are stronger. They don't care if I live or die. They know all they have to do is track down another abduct victim to replace me. There are enough of them out there. They can always `make' more anyway. Maybe if I ignore him he'll beat me to death. Then I won't have to go through this horrible routine for injection, draw blood, draw blood, injection, draw blood, draw blood. Enough blood to kill me. Enough. Enough of this. I feel the figure reach for me and curl up tighter into a ball. The heavy hand lands on my shoulder in a familiar touch. "Scully." A whispered voice calls. I gasp and roll over. Mulder kneels beside me dressed all in black. He has a small relieved smile on his face, but beneath that is worry and panic. "Mulder." I whisper. I want to cry. I want to throw my arms around him. I don't ever want to let go. But I can't move. I can only stare in shock. "Shh." He pulls me to my feet and unzips a bag and pulls out black clothes and hiking boots. "We don't have much time. Put these on." I snap back to reality and pull off my plain blue clothes. The clothes of a test subject. As I dress in black as I hear muffled gasps of other cellmates. Once you unlock one door, you unlock the whole hallway. Everyone is realizing this. Everyone knows the dull thud of the lock being lifted. Everyone knows what the dull thud followed by nothing means; a chance. Not a very good chance. But a chance none the less. I am finished dressing and turn back to Mulder. He hands me my gun and I clamp onto it for dear life. The heavy metal warmed by Mulder's body. So this is real. I was starting to think I was hallucinating. I look up at him. I want to say something. But there is no time. Reunions come later. Freedom comes now. When the time comes I will thank him. So help me God I will let him know. He takes a hold of my arm and pulls me into the hall. We jog down the hallway filled with shocked test subjects that quietly make their way outside in blue clothes so easily spotted. I follow Mulder faithfully as he pulls me out into the cold night air. The yard is dotted with blue figures heading into the forest. Mulder pulls me down the road and way from the building. I don't know how I move, I'm so weak. But I do. I don't have a choice. Mulder found me somehow. And somehow I will get out of here. I hear the voices of startled workers and the firing of guns. They don't care about us. They don't need us. We just can't get away. Mulder pulls me silently through the night. We are shielded from immediate sight by our clothes. Protected slightly by our guns. We run for sometime until we hear the guards gaining on us. Mulder pulls me roughly to the ground and covers my body with his. "Shh. Don't move." He whispers in my ear. I nod and fight tears of frustration. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ One week earlier My whole body feels strange. I don't know what it is. Tingling and humming almost. What ever they injected in me isn't dead. It makes my stomach turn to think what that blue liquid was. I watched it go into my body in horror. This is the third `treatment' I have received. Or maybe it's my fourth, or more. I don't even know anymore. Strapped to a chair with no hope of getting loose. Not that I would know what to do once I was free. I just want to give up. But I wont. It has only been a few weeks, I think. I don't know anymore. I can hang on. Oh please God help me hold on. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ One week 3 days earlier "No! No please don't!" The guard pays no attention to my cries, they never do. He just grabs me by my hair and pulls me upright. He drags me though the door and into the cool hallway. Then down the stairs and into a room. "Please don't do this." I wish I had more strength to talk above a whisper. Not that it matters. The guard drops me in a chair and my arm is tied to the counter top next to me. The `doctor' puts the needle in my arm and my blood starts to flow out of my body. There goes what little is left of my life. I still whimper for them to stop. Any minute now I will pass out. I know it. I feel my eyelids fluttering to close me off from the tunnel vision. A cold sweat breaks over me. Oh God how much longer will this go on? Mulder has to find me soon. I know he will. What if he doesn't? No. No he will. My neck is giving out on me again. My head falls back behind me and hits the back of the chair. It would hurt if I had the strength to feel it. But all I can do is let the darkness take me over. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ Two weeks earlier I've never felt so alone in my life. No one talks here. although there is constant noise. The dull thud of heavy metal locks, the squeak of a door, the shouts of an angry guard, the desperate wordless cries of other test subjects, the sickening thud of a fist hitting a weak helpless body. Why is this happening? Why am I here? Why can't I cry? I can't let myself, that's why. That would mean I am giving up. And I'm not going to do that. They'll have to do much worse to me then inject and draw blood. I still have hope. I still have things I need to do. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ Two weeks 4 days earlier How many times in my life am I going to be facing death and thinking about everything I wish I did? Once again I lay someplace all alone with no clue why I am here thinking of what I really want out of life. All the things I wish I would get the guts to do, to say, to feel. Slowly I stand from my bed and walk over to the sink. I cup water in my hands and splash the bitter smelling liquid onto my face. I get on top of the sink with shaky legs and look out the window. Same as last time I looked; trees, trees and more trees. I saw a bird the other day. That was interesting. I big black one, maybe a crow. It was too far away for me to really get a good look. But it's nice to know there is some life outside of this lonely building. I lay back down and curl up around myself. Anytime now, Mulder. You've gotta find me soon. I haven't been gone long but knowing him he already knows and is on his way to get me. Please Mulder. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ Three weeks earlier I struggle with two grocery bags, an open car door, my purse, a suddenly a too bulky trench coat, and my keys in way too short of arms. And to top it all off the street light I park under still hasn't been replaced. I finally manage to slam my door without dropping anything and start to walk away. "Agent Scully." I gasp at the familiar voice. I slowly turn to see Cancerman and two nameless men with guns. If possible I would have drawn my gun, but I have too many things in my hands and it would be obvious. "You are needed Agent Scully." He says matter of factly. "What are you talking about?" I manage in such a calm steady voice that it even startles me. He signals the two men to come forward. I drop my bags in an attempt to defend myself but it is impossible to move fast enough. They each take an arm, then handcuff me behind my back. They then strip me of my identification, jewelry and gun. Using my keys they open my car door and put all my belongings inside with gloved hands. I wrestle them as much as possible. But 5 foot 3 me against 6 foot something of two muscled men is not fair. "Let me go!" I screech before they clamp a piece of duct tape over my mouth. I look around vainly for anyone to help me. But the street is deserted like it usually is at this time of night. "You are needed Agent Scully. All test subjects are needed now." Cancerman `explains' to me. "Say goodbye to your life." He smiles sickly as he takes a drag from a cigarette and the two men force me into the truck of a car. My heart rate quickens as the lid closes. Oh my God. What is going on? I ride in darkness for hours upon hours. Days even. I don't really know. The car stops once in a while and I kick and scream against my gag as much as possible. But nothing ever changes. The trunk never opens. I don't know when I finally see the light of day again. But my mouth is dry and I am light headed. The two men drag me outside. I sag limply in their arms. I don't even try holding myself up as I squint against the sun. When I finally am able to focus I am looking at a two story cement building surrounded by thick forest. Without a word they drag me into the building. I hear screams and cries echo though the hallways. They carry to me a small room, a cell. My God I am in a cell. A small mattress and blanket lay on the ground. A small sink with a rust stain from the facet. A pile of pale blue clothes lay in the corner. They shove me in without a word after unlocking the handcuffs and stripping to my under clothes. I know I should try and fight back, but I am seeing bright spots in front of my eyes and my limps feel like led. I peel off the tape with a whimper as I hear the thick metal door lock behind me. I stare at my new `home.' With one high small barred window and rusty water. I feel tears choke my throat and I say goodbye. Goodbye to my life. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ Present day Friday 11:48 am I am awoken when the van rattles to a stop. I can hear the voices of Bryers, Frohike and Langly as they exit. I shift slowly absorb my surroundings. I'm nestled against Mulder's chest still. One of his hands strokes the back of my head lightly. I shift and raise my head to look at him. His eyes are closed and he leans back against the wall of the van. Sensing my movement he looks down at me and a soft smile plays at his lips. He gently touches my cheek with the back of his fingers. "You ok?" I nod because I don't know what else to do. Langly opens the back doors of the van and tosses something at Mulder. I shut my eyes tightly against the sun outside and rest my head on Mulder again. They are talking but I don't listen. Everything seems blurry. Mulder shifts away from me and picks up a couple of bags. "Come on." He says as he pulls me out of the van. I am met by the bright sun and the sounds of a highway. He takes my hand and leads me somewhere. My eyes finally focus and I realize we are at a motel. He unlocks a door and ushers me inside. Just like every motel room. I feel tears of joy close up my throat as I sit down on a bed. Mulder kneels in front of me. "Are you sure you are ok Scully?" More words then he has said to me since he found me I think. "Yes." I say in a hoarse voice. He nods and I can see him swallow roughly. "Ok. We are only stopping here for a little while. They guys are going to get some sleep in their own room. We'll get you cleaned up and get some food into you then we will start driving again." "Where are we? Where was I?" I asked confused as he starts to untie my boots for me. Any other time I would be mad at him for babying me like this, but I'm too tired. "We are somewhere in Nebraska. I found you in Montana." "Montana." I repeat softly. I let out a little laugh. "Never been there before." Mulder laughs and pats my thigh before standing up and retrieving one of the bags he brought in. "Mulder how long was a gone for?" "Umm. About three weeks." He hands me a bag which I open and see clothes from home. I smile up at him. "It seemed longer then that." I say thoughtfully. "Oh! Hey." He reaches into he pocket and pulls something small out. Shyly he opens up his hand and in his palm lays my cross. He kneels in front of me again and reaches behind me to clasp it. "Thank you." I whisper. How many times will this man return this to me? He sits down beside me with a sigh. "Scully." He shakes his head for a moment. "What did they do to you?" I take a deep breath and roll up my sleeve. I show him the bruised sore area where they injected and withdrew. He cringes and takes my arm in his large gentle hands. Slowly he runs his fingers over the wounded area as if he can make the marks go away. In a sense he has. "They injected something into me. It was blue. I don't anything else about it. But they would inject one day, then draw blood the next two and start over again." He nods and lets go of my arm. "It's a alien virus. A virus that is infecting the alien race, killing them." He explains slowly. "I don't know too much about it either. Skinner did some searching for me, the Lone Gunman did some also. Of course it all went back to Cancerman." "He was the one who took me." I shake my head. "I don't care right now. I'm out of there, that's all that matters." He smiles and strokes the back of my head for a moment. "That's right." He clears his throat and stands up. "You want to rest for a bit or take a shower?" "You go ahead and shower first. I'll be in there for a long time." I settle back against the pillows. He nods and picks up the other bag and walks to the bathroom. "Mulder." He stops and turns around. "Thank you." I whisper softly. He smiles and nods. "No need Scully. You know that." He walks into the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on in a moment. I lean back and shut my eyes. I must drift off because the next time I open my eyes Mulder has just walks in, hair still damp from his shower. I smile and sit upright. "Your turn." "I barely remember what a shower feels like." I stand and pick my bag up from the floor. Mulder chuckles. "I'm going to go get some food. Anything in particular you want?" "Anything but stale bread and rusty water." I say as I close the bathroom door. I can hear him chuckling as I peel off my clothes. They are covered in mud and dried sweat. I decide not to look into the mirror and jump straight into the shower. I hot blast of water almost makes me cry. I watch the brown water swirl around my feet. I don't want to know what I looked like in the least. Once the water runs clean from my body I put my hair under the stream. I comb my fingers through the thick dirty strands until the are loose enough to shampoo. I use much more then necessary. I massage my scalp for some time. When my hair is rinsed I open the miniature soap and use the whole thing. I even shave my legs with the complimentary razor. I have never enjoyed the feeling of razor burn until now. When I am done I lean sideways against the wall and let the water flow down my neck and back. When I finally get out I slather on the whole miniature bottle of lotion. Then pull on a pair of jeans and sweater from the bag. I finally look in the mirror. I look pretty much the same as last time. Thinner, paler, but not all that bad. I finally walk out the bathroom and the first thing I see is the table full of Chinese food. I smile and look over to Mulder. He is asleep on his back, one arm lazily thrown over his midriff and the other curled behind his head. I sit down at the table and proceed to stuff my face. I probably eat for as long as I showered. I finally can't eat anymore and curl up on the second double bed. Facing Mulder on my side and watch him sleep. He looks tired. I wonder how many sleepless nights he had trying to find me. He must have been waiting in the forest for a long time. All alone. Then he had to search the building for me without getting caught. How he manages what he does amazes me. I smile at the sight of him. Looks like he laid down and feel asleep immediately. So content. I watch him for some time more before I fall off into my own restful sleep. I wake up much later to Mulder gently stroking my cheek with the back of fingers. "Scully." He whispers softly. I grumble and open my eyes. He laughs softly. "Sorry to wake you. You looked very peaceful." A small smile plays on his lips. "We've got to get going again. You can sleep in the van some more. I know I'm planning on it." I sit up and pull my shoes back on. It's dark outside now. "Mulder are they going to come looking for me?" He shakes his head. "Skinner called me, I've been in close contact with him. They already burned the building down. Moved all the test subjects, or let them burn I don't really know." "Oh." I'm interrupted when the Lone Gunmen enter the room. They all smile at me. "Hey guys." "Ready to go?" Frohike asks Mulder who looks at me. "Yeah. I'm ready." Langly stretches. "Only two days of driving left." He says with sarcastic relief. He walks over and throws an arm over my shoulders squeezing me. "Don't worry Scully you're worth it." "Thanks." I say as we load back into the van. I settle on the pile on blankets and pillows on the floor of the van. They obviously had this planned, they've already driven the route once. Mulder sits down next to me as the others load into the front and start talking mindlessly about Lone Gunmen type of things. I can't help but smile at them. "You cold?" Mulder asked with a furrowed brow. I shrug. "A little I guess." I smile at him. "I'm always cold." I'm so much thinner now. So tired all the time. Mulder pulls off his boots and I do the same. He lays back against the pillows and opens his arms for me. "Come here." He asks softly and unsure of himself. I do. A month ago I would have yelled at him for being an ass. But I am so starved of pleasant human contact that I relish the fact he will hold me. I settle as close as I can to him. My forehead against his chest, my arms curled up against my breasts. Mulder encircles my body with his strong arms and lets out a long sigh. I feel so safe. So alive. "I was ready to die." I whisper to him. I don't know what makes me tell him. His breath catches for a moment before he nods. "I don't blame you." He whispers as he presses his lips to my forehead. My God I missed that. "It was horrible Mulder." "You don't have to tell me Scully." He interrupts. "I want to." I continue in a hushed voice. I wait for him to nod before I go on. "I saw other test subjects often. But I never spoke to them. The whole hallway did everything together, all the others that were released. There was no use fighting them: the guards I mean. They were stronger, they didn't care if we lived. They were all men. I don't think I saw the same one twice. Or maybe I just wasn't paying attention. When they threw me in the cell the first day, I didn't see anyone for a long time. Maybe a day or two. I think they were letting my strength wear down. The only thing I had was water, it was dirty." I pause and swallow at the remembrance of that lukewarm metallic liquid that amazingly enough kept me alive. I take a deep breath and continue. "Then they came and got me. Dragged me to this. this room and strapped me to a chair. Then one of the men came over and injected me with the virus." I start of cry softly. For the first time I actually cry. I know there are more tears to come, this is just a small sampling. Mulder holds me tighter and runs a hand gently over my back after he pulls a blanket over us. "It was a painful injection. It was the strangest feeling Mulder. Whatever they were putting in me was alive. I could feel it work its way through my veins for hours after the injection. They would put me back in my cell and I would lay there letting that. that stuff move in my body. Then it would fade away. I could rest comfortably for a while. Then they would take me again." I can feel Mulder's body move with the silent sobs. I can feel his tears from where his cheek rests against my head. But it's ok because I can feel him. He is real. He came and got me just like I knew he would. "They would take so, so much blood from me. I would loose consciousness some times. Then wake up in my room again. If they gave me more food it wouldn't have been so bad." I let out something between a laugh and a sob. "What am I talking about? It was bad no matter what.. It was horrible." I finish in a faint whisper. He kisses my temple. "It's over now." I nod and look up at him. "I know. It's over because of you." I lean up and brush my lips faintly against his. Oh thank you God I can feel him. He smiles softly at me and I settle back into his arms snuggly. His presence lulls me into a half sleep state where all I hear is his heart beating and all I feel is his soft breath stirring my hair. I don't move until I feel the van roll to a stop. "Pit stop!" Langly yells happily from the front of the van. Mulder and I slowly sit up and pull on our shoes before sliding out and into the dark night. The Lone Gunmen are already walking towards the fast food restaurant, their thoughts lost again in their usual bickering. I jump when Mulder slams the door behind me. Why do I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach? "You hungry?" Mulder asks as he places he hand on my back and walks me into the building. I shake my head. I can't seem to unclench my jaw. "I just want to use the lady's room." I can't seem to keep the shaking out of my voice. I know I am close to loosing control. But not yet, I cant yet. Mulder must have noticed my tenseness because he moves a little closer to me. "Ok. Wait for me, I'll walk to you back to the van." He says as we step into respected restrooms. I do what I need to do quickly. It's too bright in here, too many lights. So unnatural. I step out and feel a twinge of panic when I don't see Mulder. It feels like my throat is closing in on me. Then the men's room door swings open and Mulder steps out and gives me a soft reassuring smile. I must look like a nervous wreck. He places his hand on my back and leads me back outside and opens the van door for me. I crawl in and he pulls a blanket over my shoulders. "You sure you don't want anything Scully?" I shake my head slowly. "No. I'll be ok." "Ok. Listen I'm going to run in and get something to eat but I'll be right back. I know the boys want to hang out in there for a bit." "No you can stay with them. I'll be fine by myself Mulder." I try to use as much of a stern voice as I can, but it's hard. He looks at me uncertainty and I know he is going to insist of staying with me. "I'll be fine. Go. Stretch your legs and talk to the guys. They are doing a lot for me and I have barely said two words to the three of them." He nods. "Ok. I'll be back soon though. If you need me you come right in." "Mulder, I'll be fine." He nods but is frowning when he closes the doors and leaves me alone again. It's dark in here. Just like my cell. I don't know how I managed to stay sane though that. I guess I lived in my head. I can't think of what I really thought about. I guess what my life was like, how I wanted to change it. But nothing substantial. Maybe I was too weak to think too seriously for too long a time. I sat there for sometime, I don't know how long. I have no concept of time anymore. But I jump when the van's back doors open. "It's me." Mulder softly as he crawls in and shuts the doors. He moves close to me and reaches for my hands. "Let go." He whispers. I don't know what he is talking about so I look down. My gun. I am clutching my gun so tightly my knuckles are white. He tugs lightly at it but I can't seem to make my hands loosen. "It's ok now Scully. No one is going to hurt you." He tentatively pulls my fingers with one hand as he holds the gun with the other. He is treating me like some wild animal that might either fight or flight at any moment. With this thought I manage to let go. He nods approvingly and places the gun to the side then sits next to me. He opens a bottled water and places it in my shaking hands. I gulp it down with vigor. I jump again when the Gunman get back into the front of the van. "Ready back there?" Breyers asks. Mulder nods taking a quick glance in his direction before fixing his gaze on me again. I feel the eyes of the other three men and try not to shudder. The van rumbles to a start. Yes. Go. Movement is good. It's productive. I feel Mulder start to pull off my shoes again. Then he moves up my body and pulls me down against him again. He smoothes my hair back and I rest my head against his chest. He is so alive. "It's ok now Scully." He whispers. I realize I'm crying softly again. He doesn't hush me, he just reassures me. I wish I could believe him. I really do. But this painful knot in my gut won't go away. It's the knot of tears that need to be let out. "It's ok. I'm here. Let it out Scully. It's going to be ok. No one is going to hurt you. I won't let them." He presses me closer to him. "God damnit I wont let them." I believe that. If Mulder can help it no one will ever hurt me again. I raise my head slowly and look at him with a small smile. "I know that." My tears die, for now. I cuddle up against him. ~~X~~X~~X~~X~~ Sunday Present day 6:45 pm I go between sleep, soft crying, and eating for the whole two day nonstop drive back to DC. Mulder walks me up to my apartment after the Lone Gunman dropped us off to pick up his car. I stop at my door and look up sheepishly at him. "I don't have my keys." He smiles and pulls them out of his pocket and unlocks the door for me. Then follows me inside. Home. Thank God I am finally home. "Um. you want me to stick around tonight Scully?" Mulder asks nervously. I turn to him and look down at his shirt. Please Mulder. Please stay. "It's ok. I'll be ok." He takes my face in my hands and forces my eyes to meet his. "Do you want me to stay?" When I don't answer he goes on. "Scully, its ok to say you need me here. I want to stay with you, but only if you want me here." I feel my chest tighten. "Please Mulder. Don't leave." My body starts to shake with the tears I haven't let out yet. He pulls me firmly against him. "Its ok. I'll stay with you. I won't leave you alone Scully." This is the first time I have completely lost control with Mulder. My body slacks against his as violent sobs pour from my soul. I feel his arms tighten around me as my knees give out. "It's ok I've got you." He whispers as he lifts me off my feet and into his arms. He carries me into my bedroom and sets me down pulling my back against his chest. "That's it Scully. Let it out." He murmurs in my ear as he rocks me gently. He lets me cry for God knows how long before I finally calm. "I'm sorry." I whisper as I wipe my eyes. He lets out a breathy laugh. "Sorry? Jesus, Scully. You have no reason to be sorry." He smoothes my hair from my face as I turn to him. He shakes his head slowly and leans to kiss my forehead. "Nothing to be sorry about." He pulls away and looks me in the eyes. "You understand that?" I shut my eyes and nod. "I'm going to take a shower." I open my eyes to see him nodding. "Ok. I'll order some dinner." I stand in the shower a long time just letting the hot water wash over my body. When I finally reemerge I'm in a pair of plaid flannel pants a big sweatshirt feeling much like a college student again. Innocent, uncertain, in love and scared to death to admit it. But unlike my college days I don't have `all the time in the world'. Who knows how long my world will last? Time might be running out and I don't even know it. I walk out into my living room and am greeted by the smells of garlic bread and tomato sauce. But no Mulder. There are containers of food on my coffee table and a bottle of wine ready to be opened but I am utterly alone. I feel a strange pull in my stomach. The same kind I have whenever out on a case with Mulder and I can't seem to find him anywhere. At those times I don't have any reason to worry, that's a completely different feeling in itself. I just don't know where he is. And I don't like it. Suddenly the front door swings open and Mulder strides in. He sees me standing in the middle of the room frozen and gives me a soft smile. "There were some things living in your fridge that I thought should be disposed of before they turned into an x-file." I know I just stare at him blankly. His words are funny, but I can't seem to do anything but look at him. He takes a few long steps over to me and looks closely at my face. "Are you ok Scully?" I take a deep breath and come back to reality. "Yeah. I'm ok." I look up at him. He is wearing a strange expression I'm not too sure how to read. Something along the lines of concern and tenderness. "Are you ok?" He slowly shakes his head. I know my brow furrows as I look at him and try and think of what can be wrong. "I missed you." He whispers softly. He leans down and wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into a fierce hug. I return it fully. I almost jump when I feel his lips on a tender spot under my ear, almost. In turn I nuzzle his neck. We stay like that for a few moments before he moves back and gestures to the food. I give a silent nod and we sit down to lasagna, garlic bread and wine. We eat in almost complete silence. Only small comments about the food and the movie that we are barely paying attention to. I sit back on the couch feeling groggy from the wine when Mulder plops down with a sigh after doing the dishes. He reaches over and pats my knee. "You ok? You're awfully quiet." I move closer towards him and turn so I can look at his face. We just stare at each other for a moment before I move into his arms. "Thank you Mulder." I mumble against his chest. He kisses my forehead. "You're welcome." I can tell he is moving in to kiss my forehead again but I tip my head up and meet his lips with mine. It's just an innocent kiss between friends. Until I wrap an arm around his neck and pull him to me a little more. He seems to be a little shocked by that, not that I blame him I am pretty shocked I did it myself. But as usual Mulder recovers quickly by wrapping his one arm around my waist and holding the back of my head lightly with his other. I caress his lips with the tip of my tongue until he opens to me. I swipe my tongue against his. He tastes of wine and Mulderness. The best combination I have ever tasted. He pulls away slowly and gives me a questioning look. I give him a nervous smile and he returns it along with a hand through my hair. I have a hard time taking my eyes from his lips; they are slightly swollen and red from our kissing. I suddenly have a thought. I look up at his eyes. "Mulder. I don't want to know what you had to do for Cancer Man to find out where I was do I?" He looks away for a moment. "No you don't." "Ok." I let out a long breath and lean into him, placing my face in his neck. I start to lightly kiss and nibble. I don't know what has come over me but I like it. "Scully?" He asks with a curious soft voice. I pick my head up and move into his lap. I straddle his legs and sit back against his lower thighs. "I love you." I say looking directly into his eyes. "I love you too." He doesn't miss a beat. His hands move to rest on my thighs, his thumbs tracing soft circles. I can tell he is going to ask me what I am doing. But I am one step ahead of him. "I just spent that last few weeks of my life thinking I was never going to see you again." Come on Mulder read between the lines. "And I thought about all the things I wish I had done." I lean in and kiss him. Judging by the way he is kissing me back he caught on to what I was saying. I'm kissing Mulder like I have been doing it for years, I guess I have. But only in my head. His tongue caresses the inside of my cheeks, my teeth, my own tongue. He certainly takes his kissing seriously. I let my hands travel from the back of his neck down his chest and to the waistband of his jeans. His breath catches a little in his throat when I put my hands under his shirt and tug it up. He pulls his mouth away from me for only a second before latching on to my neck. I slide forward as much as I can on his lap. His arousal presses into my core and I cant help but push against him for more friction. I'm sure I soaked through my panties and pants back when he said that he loved me also. I new flood of heated moisture goes through me when I feel his hands under my sweatshirt. I lift my arms so he can pull it off. "Jesus." He breaths out after he realizes I didn't put a bra on after my shower. Judging by the look on his face he is impressed, if that's the right word. "Beautiful." He murmurs. Before I know it he has his mouth over one of my nipples. "God!" I wrap my arms around his head and hold him to me, not that he seems like he is going to stop anytime soon. Although I could let him do this all night there are other things I want to do to him. I maneuver my hands between us and unbutton his jeans, he lifts his hips. Together we pull them down and he kicks them off. I think I hear something get knocked over but I really couldn't care less. I don't know how I manage to but I get the rest of my clothes off in a matter of second. I straddle his lap again. "Let's get out of here." He whispers against my lips. I try not to yelp in surprise when he stands up with my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck. I take his earlobe in to my mouth and suck lightly. "Mmm. Scully you better stop that if you want to make it to the bedroom." I don't stop. He tastes too good. Suddenly he stops all movement and pushes my back against the wall. "Ever made love against a wall before Scully?" He asks with his face in my neck. "Mmm. Once in a college." He looks at me with amused shock then shakes his head. "I won't ask." I start to laugh but am thrown off balance when Mulder leans down and slips his arms under my thighs and lifts me up. "Mulder!" "I got you." He says as he lifts me higher so my thighs rest on his upper arms and his hands hold my waist. "Oh my God." I place my palms on the ceiling above me and lean my back against the wall as he buries his nose in my curls. He looks up at me. "I won't drop you Scully." I believe him so I nod. He gently strokes his tongue against my bundle of nerves and I can't help but thrust towards him. He pulls away and kisses the inside of my thigh. "Relax Scully. And stay still." He finishes with a laugh. I would have laughed but his mouth is on me again and it's all I can do to keep from screaming. I really don't know what he is doing down there but it is great. I can barely breath as I feel my orgasm take over my body. I think I yell out Mulder's name but I don't really know. He slowly slides me down his body and I rewrap my legs around his waist. I kiss him deeply sliding my tongue over his until the taste of me is off. He pulls away. "Tell me you have never done something like that before?" I laugh and shake my head. "Never." He nods. "You ready?" "Mmm Hmm." I bury my face in his neck. He lifts me up slightly and slides into me slowly. My head falls back with a moan of pleasure. We stay motionless for a few moments before he starts to move slowly. I am basically useless in this position so I just wrap my arms around his neck tight and literally hang on. Mulder's breathing in hard and ragged against my neck as he moves faster. I can't help but gasp as he hits some unknown place in my body. "Am I hurting you?" He asks meeting my eyes. I frantically shake my head and pull his lips to mine and kiss him hard. I can feel another orgasm working its way through my body. It starts at the base of my skull and travels through my body all the way to my toes. I whimper into Mulder's mouth as I come. He moans from deep in his chest and drops to his knees taking me with him. He turns us and settles me on my back with him between my legs. I am feeling really light headed and part of me is glad he is so close. But then again this has been really fun. I jump out of my light headedness when Mulder's fingers start to run my oversensitive nub. It is fast and hard, it should hurt but the line between pain and pleasure is dangerously blurred. He is still kissing me, which is probably a good thing because otherwise the neighbors would call the police about all the screaming. Just in the middle of my orgasm I feel Mulder swell even more then his heated liquid fills me. "Scully." Mulder whispers as he strokes back my hair. I slowly open my eyes. How did I get on my bed? "You with me?" "Hmm?" I slowly focus on him and place a hand on his flushed cheek. "You blacked out there for a minute." He says with a little laugh. "I did?" Well that would explain how I don't remember how I got from the floor during an intense multiple orgasm to my bed. He nods slowly then leans down and kisses my forehead. Then he rolls onto his back and pulls me onto his chest. I settle my head onto his shoulder and wrap an arm around his waist. I lay silently for some time. "This changes everything." I whisper. His arm tightens and his kisses my hair. "I'm ready for a change." The time has come for a change. Thank God. ~~THE END (for now)~~ Well there ya go! I'll be writing a sequel to this. after all we don't know what Mulder had to do to get Scully back now do we. Well actually I know but I would be willing to change my thoughts if you have any ideas. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send me feedback. Anything at all! Good or bad! Thanks a lot and please visit my homepage, the address is at the top of the screen. ?